“I didn’t want to just quit. I feel like just quitting is ruining the game. If you’re going out for a medical reason, that’s totally different.”

That’s Rob Antonson, right after he tried to quit Survivor 51 by voting himself off at Tribal Council and right before he said he had a foot injury that needed to be looked at by a doctor. Once the doctor came and said he could not find anything that would prevent Rob from continuing and could only see what he described as a “tiny cut,” Rob pulled himself from the game anyway, citing a fear of infection as his reason.

None of his Savu tribe mates were buying it, pretty much all of them accusing Rob of faking the injury to leave the game. But what does Rob himself say now? Does he still maintain this was a decision that had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he missed home and could barely sleep outdoors? And how does he feel about what his tribemates said about him and how producers edited his exit?

We asked the third one out of Survivor 51 all that and more, and you can now watch or read the entire interview below.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Let’s not waste any time and get right to the question everyone is asking, and you, I feel, are the only one who can answer. How much does Eric really weigh?

ROB ANTONSON: Listen, Eric’s a good dude, man. Eric, you know, it seemed like there’s this big rivalry with me and Eric, but Eric’s a dude I would hang out with from here. Everyone thinks I’m this alpha macho guy that only hangs out with macho dudes, but Eric is the guy that I’d be best friends with. He’s a good dude. And that’s how I am with my buddies. We shoot s— back and forth, so I was always hoping he didn’t get offended by it.

‘Survivor 51’ recap: A player quits the game due to a ‘tiny cut’

Jeff Probst reveals being caught ‘off guard’ by ‘Survivor 51’ player quitting

All right, I’m just going to ask you point-blank, Rob, because it’s what everyone is talking about: Now looking back on it with a clear head and plenty of sleep five months later: Do you feel you quit Survivor?

I don’t feel like I quit Survivor. I feel like quitting is something you just give up on, okay? But there are certain circumstances that go to taking yourself out of the game, and that’s what I did. Day three, I got injured walking into the ocean, I stepped on something. I kinda just dealt with it because that’s how I did it, that’s how I go in life. My dad taught me, you know, just don’t be a puss, go along with it.

And that whole time, I kept getting more pain, pain, pain through the ankle, going up to my foot, going up to my leg. And I didn’t tell anybody. That was my biggest regret is not telling anybody. I didn’t go to the doctor. I didn’t tell the doc. I didn’t tell my tribe. I felt like if I told the tribe, I would be this weak guy.

Looking back on it, I should have gone to the doc. The doc could have probably helped me out, and I probably would have stayed in the game. So when it comes down to it at the end, voting myself out, that’s going five days of no sleep, raining every day, barely no food, barely no water, and I’m in pain. I’m in pain from my injury. So you’re not in the right frame of mind.

People could sit on their couch and be like, “Oh, I would have did this. I would have did that.” But you put your ass in that scenario and your brain’s not there. So yeah, it was a cool moment that I wrote myself on the paper, you know. It’s never been done in Survivor history. So people can make fun of it, but the end of the day, it’s history. It was a stupid move, of course, but your brain’s not in the right frame of mind. And at that point, I knew my game was done. I knew my leg was screwed. So I figured I wasn’t really playing the game anymore. I wasn’t talking to people to see what the vote was. So I honestly thought it was all Eric. So I’m like, “All right, let me do a Rhode Island move before I go out with this injury and be like, all right, let me save Eric.” And then it happened, so I’m like, “Damn.”

But I made a decision at the end to take myself out due to my injury because I have three kids, and having an infection in my leg, something like that, could hurt me being a dad full-time with three kids. I’m never gonna go against that. And people out there that have no kids, they just don’t understand it. They think when you don’t have kids, you don’t think about any of that. So it’s just different being a dad, you know?

So much to get into with everything you said. Let’s back up a bit. You did mention in one of your confessional interviews on day 5 that you might just write your own name down at Tribal Council. It was kind of an offhand comment. Did you ever tell producers before you got to Tribal that you were planning to do that?

I did. But again, my mind was all over the place. I mean, in my mind, I was already like, my leg’s fried. I’m someone that likes to go balls to the wall, competitions, everything like that. Even with the competitions, the reward one, I’m dragging Alexis with my leg. I was doing the whale thing. Me and Sharonda have a 500-pound whale on our back as Ori and Carter are on the other side, and they can’t come back. We were doing that whale challenge for forever. And I had that whale on my back, lifting my leg off some sandbags in the water.

So I mean, I was being tortured, but again, I wasn’t telling anybody. Nobody knew. So when I went out with the injury, everyone’s like, “Oh my God, Rob just quit. Like it looks like he just quit.” But people don’t know I’ve been dealing with this s— for days. I was dealing with it for days. It goes back to my biggest regret is day three or whenever it happened, I should have told people.

Even about the thing about voting myself out because of my injury, I was close to Ana and Carter. I should be like, “I’m gonna vote myself out.” And they would’ve like, “You can’t do that.” But when you’re in the game of Survivor, your brain’s fried. Like, people don’t understand it’s day five. You barely ate, you barely drank, you barely slept, and you’re injured. So your brain’s just not there, you know?

I’ve been out there on location during filming for 21 different seasons. I’ve spent well over 100 days out there, so I’ve seen it all up close. I know how taxing it is in every form and how one thing can impact and affect you mentally, emotionally, and everything else. So I understand the lack of sleep, which gets to my next question, which is: Had you been able to sleep out there and had you felt like you were in good shape that way, do you think you still would’ve asked to have left due to your foot? Or do you think then you would’ve been able to have the strength and the fortitude to kinda push through that a little more?

If I was feeling good, if I felt like there wasn’t an infection in my leg or anything like that, there’s no way in hell I would ever do that. I’m not a quitter, Dalton. I’m just not. I’ve never quit anything in my life. I was someone who had my mouth wired for three months and just dealt with it. I didn’t tell anybody. But that’s always been my philosophy. And that’s almost a problem sometimes.

Even when I got injured, I didn’t tell anybody. I just kinda dealt with it. Again, if I told people and I told the doc, they could’ve probably heard me and made me feel good, and I would’ve been in the game. I never wanted to leave this game. People keep saying, “Oh, you’re a quitter. Why would you go on when you just quit?” First of all, all these big-time Survivor fans, if you guys knew anything — they’re saying I quit to go see my kids. When you quit, you don’t go home! You don’t talk to your kids, you don’t talk to your family.

When I get off the show, I’m off for eight days, not home, not talking to my kids. Idol in my pocket. So if I was healthy, if I was good to go, there’s no way in hell I would ever quit this game.

What do you make of what we saw last night in the episode and how the show and your tribemates appeared to view your exit from the game? Because they had some opinions about it.

Again, it comes down to it’s my fault, because when I first got hurt in the days leading up, if I told people about this, it wouldn’t have been such a blindside. Like when it happened, everyone’s like, “Wait, what?” So right in your mind, even if I was one of the tribe members, I would’ve been like, “Ah, he just quit, because I didn’t hear anything about an injury.”

 So I don’t blame them for thinking that way. You know, Ori, I’m gonna take a shot at Ori right now because Ori plays off to be this, you know, big-time macho man that he’s a loyalty guy. He’s fake. He’s fake. He’s someone that went behind the back in the confessionals and wanted to spit all his game when he had the shot. Like even on social media, he’s making little videos taking shots at me, but then he sees me in public, and he’s all cool. I hate fake people. I just hate ‘em. I want everyone to be real with me and upfront with me.

Off topic there, but going back to it, I don’t blame these people for being like, “Wow, Rob’s a quitter,” because I didn’t provide them with anything before, which I should have. And I should have provided for the audience too. I mean, the audience sees me as like, “Oh, okay. Rob’s writing his name down. Then, the next day he’s done with injury. So there’s no way he’s injured.”

You’ve known these past two episodes were coming. So were you scared to watch these past two episodes? Were you excited? Because you knew they were coming, but you didn’t know how the events were gonna be presented or what your tribemates would be saying or any of that.

Dalton, I’ve been fighting off trolls like I’m a Samurai warrior here. I’m made for this. I’m built like this. I’m built strong. I don’t know if it’s the East Coast philosophy or just how my dad built me. Words do not affect me. These people keep coming at me, and I laugh in their face. I mean, most of you people wanna be on Survivor, so you’re just jealous I was there.

But again, people don’t realize; they don’t think that when you’re around the island, it’s a totally different ball game. You can have the biggest plan until you get punched in the mouth. That’s just how it goes. So I mean, it is what it is. I was always excited for the episodes to come up. And again, I can’t blame production. I can’t blame the show. I can’t blame anyone but myself, you know? I do video editing, so I understand that you have to have clips to create the perfect edit to make everything look good. I provided nothing for the TV show to show that I had an injury because I didn’t tell anybody, you know? Even when I handed off the Idol to Carter, I did it in the dark.

Tell me more about that, Rob. When did that happen?

We were coming back, and I knew I was done. I mean, listen, no one can feel my pain. Even when the doc came up to me, I loved the doc. The doc was great. Jeff was great. I mean, just the whole production of CBS and Survivor, they were awesome. They were unbelievable. And I came back, and I’m like, “I gotta get rid of this idol. I gotta get it to one of my allies.”

This is at night after Tribal?

After Tribal, yeah. So I’m like, “I just gotta get rid of it.” So I knew Carter is one of my loyal people. I knew Carter’s a good dude. So that’s when I’m like, “I gotta give it to Carter. I gotta see what he can do with it and just let it go.” So, I thought that was the best decision in my mind.

I think all of this is different if you’re just able to sleep out there. If you’re getting a good night’s sleep and can function properly, I’m guessing you stay on the island, which leads me to ask: How do you think you do in this game if you stay? Yes, you were blindsided by the Ana vote, but you have an idol, your tribe won the next challenge, there’s a tribe swap coming up, so the field was pretty open.

Yeah, going back to the sleep thing, I’m actually one of those people here at my home; I always felt like your best healing process in life and your body is sleep. So, yeah, that definitely would’ve helped. But I know it’s not the situation when you’re on an island. But I definitely felt like I was the main character in this game. I felt like I was someone that was playing the game. I felt like I was someone that wasn’t floating around. I wanted to make moves.

Even though I’m not this all-time fanatic of Survivor, I was still trying to make moves, and I was still just playing people out. Brady was always someone I wanted to play with. I wanted to be Brody and Brody together. I feel like me and him would’ve caused a lot of chaos. And when we were marooning, I wanted to be on his tribe. I wanted to be with him. So I feel like if I got to merge — me and Kilby get along well, me and Devin, Lewis, if everybody was there at merge or something like that and we all got together, I feel like it could have been chaos, for sure.

Finally, if you had been watching yourself on TV and you’d watched the circumstances of your exit, what would you be saying right now? Be honest.

Yeah, I’ll be honest with you. I’m an honest guy. It would be like, “I like Rob because he’s reckless as hell and he’s chaos, which I love chaos.” But, you know, based on the edit, again, my fault, I would be like, “All right, maybe he quit at the end.” You know, I mean, again, going back, I should have told people, I should have told the doc about my injury, and I didn’t. So it’s something I gotta live with.